So I walked into my son’s room last night to turn off his light and he had fallen fast asleep while correcting his math homework. I say 'correcting' because I sent him to his room to do so after being so frustrated that he got most of the answers wrong. Again.
But the sight of him hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm doing it again.
What am I doing? Passing on the unrealistic expectations I have of myself onto my son.
This is a huge reason why we don't homeschool anymore.
I went upstairs and showed my husband this picture which led to us discussing how I could be part of the problem (what, ME?) and what we really want for our kids:
·Ivy league geniuses?
·Professional athletes?
Nope and nope.
Kind and gentle human beings who see the value in all people and love the Lord with all their hearts?
Absolutely.
You need to pass the baton, Ryan says to me.
Seriously?
Seriously, he says.
So, I put my figurative baton into Ryan's hands, apologized to Payton for my nonsense, and announced that Dad is now in charge of homework in our house.
And I will continue to work on not projecting my 'stuff' onto my kids.
I look back and marvel because two years ago, I would have stomped around and taken the hard things Ryan said to me personally. Maybe not even speak to him for a couple days.
But I want so much more for our lives. I want to truly be the best version of me I can possibly be. And that involves being willing to look closely at myself, seeing what I don't like, and doing whatever it takes to change. Being willing to say, 'You're right, I do need to work on that.”
And my prayer is that my kids see me working on myself and that they will have the tools to go into life and do that as well.
But for now, I think they're just happy to do their homework in peace.
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You can contact Shannon at shannon.williamson1@gmail.com.
